You’re on holiday for god’s sake.
EAT SOME CHIPS.
I truly believe that gluten intolerance does not exist in most of Europe. Every meal starts with bread, then is served with bread and ends with bread and cheese. Side dishes are a beige parade of potatoes, rice and chips (I got served all three one night – DON’T WORRY GUYS, JUST CARB LOADING FROM ALL THE EXCESSIVE PINT LIFTING I’VE BEEN DOING).
Staying in an apartment, we’ve had the opportunity to cook for ourselves. However, a quick trip to the local supermarket showed us why there may be less greens on offer. Asparagus was €5. €5!! And when a bottle of rosé is €3, who are we to argue with those economics?
The one healthy snack we have been gorging on are almonds from the local market because I don’t know what they’ve done to them but they are like actual crack (no statement has ever made it more obvious that I have never done crack before). When purchasing, the old woman at the stall was wittering on at me in Portuguese but now I know what she was saying. Akin to the old lady who sold Jack the magic beans in Jack and the Beanstalk, she was saying to me ‘these aren’t just any almonds, these are MAGIC almonds’ (the bag says ‘tostada’ which I imagine means that they’re toasted. But that sounds less exciting than MAGIC ALMONDS).
I’ve always said that I’m not a fan of seafood but I’ve bloody enjoyed me some ‘shrimp’ (feel very American saying that) and even some CLAMS even though they look like FULL ON LADY PARTS.
I’ll be getting back to the old ‘health regime’ today but I have massively enjoyed not obsessively logging into myfitnesspal and counting how many minstrels I’ve eaten. The only thing left to do is weigh myself when I get home. Anything under an increase of 3 pounds and I’ll be GREATLY disappointed. Because, surely, that’s what holidays are for?!